June 21, 2011


I'm having a combination endoscopy/colonoscopy tomorrow morning.

Just one of the many joys of turning 40, I guess (dripping with sarcasm).

Right now, I am doing the Miralax regimen with white grape juice. It's as much as fun as it sounds.

However, I am always thinking of the scads of ragamuffins who read this blog, so have a couple of vintage commercials pertaining to laxatives.

From 1970:


  1. Anonymous21 June, 2011

    You're so funny. Don't worry about the procedures, they are a piece of cake and you are asleep for all of them.

    Let us know how it all went and be sure to have a big plate of something delicious for lunch tomorrow!


  2. Oh Laura! I had to do those things three times and I'm just 43! You'll do well!

  3. Oh my lord, I have to laugh - the doctor and I were discussing that if mom had to have an endoscopy, we might as well do the other end at the same time.

    I'm so sorry you're living the reality!

    I've had the first one, but not the second. And I'm not standing in line for it either. When I had an endoscopy, they didn't knock you out. They just gave you some dopey meds and made you swallow the tube yourself. Consider yourself lucky.

  4. Thanks you guys...I am OK. Honestly, the prep itself was far worse than the procedure. That Miralax in white grape juice was the most disgusting stuff I have ever had to swallow, and when you consider my sexual...well, never mind about that.

    I got to the surgical place for my 7:00am appointment, I was back and undressing by 7:15am, they had the IV in by 7:30am (with some sedatives in it, it was lovely!), and I was on the table by 8:00am. The amazing thing to me was how they knocked me out. I didn't even have the sensation of going to sleep, which always frightens me. I remember looking up at the ceiling as the nurse put the oxygen breathing-thingy in my nostrils and wrapped the blood pressure monitor around my arm. And the next thing I recall is waking up in recovery with a kind nurse giving me some sips of cranberry juice. We didn't even do the "countdown" to being knocked out. Frankly, it was GREAT.

    And now I have keepsake photos of the inside of my stomach, intestines, and colon! Suitable for framing...or perhaps to used in our Christmas cards this year...or both!

    Thanks, you guys, for your support. p.s. Barbara, ain't no way I would have ever swallowed a tube myself. Yeesh, that's terrible.


  5. Oh, and a couple more things:

    I somehow managed to rip out my IV as I was coming out from under. The nurse got to me right away, but I managed to bleed a bit. My hospital gown looked a little like the Clown Doctor's on Children's Hospital (please tell me you all watch Children's Hospital!).

    They offered me a second can of delicious cranberry juice after I finished the first. It was icy cold and scrumptious. Because I was delirious with sedatives still, I refused. So, of course, Ken (who has been wonderful to me all day long, incidentally) has not been able to let The Lost Can of Cranberry Juice go. If he has said, "You should have said Yes to the second can," once, he has said it nine times.

    Never tell a nurse that you have a secret nickname for the doctor who is doing your colonoscopy...especially when that nickname is "Dr. Dollface." Trust me, she will think it is cute and go back to the other nurses at the station and tell him the nickname. And trust me, by the time you wake up from being put under, all of the nurses will be teasing said doctor and calling him "Dr. Dollface," giving you full credit as to the origin.

    Finally, and on a serious note...all American citizens should be able to receive the wonderful level of care and caring that I did today, and it infuriates me that this isn't the reality.

  6. Yes I watch Children's Hospital

  7. Well, Dandiacal, then around these parts you are officially known as Dr. Lola Spratt :)