From 1951: That Crucial Moment When Every American Housewife Realizes That Her Beloved Snookums Is, At Heart, A Low-Down Dirty Dawg

(one of the best double-clickers yet, so don't miss out!)

Take it from the good folks at Dorothy Gray Salon, housewives of America: Jim or Donald or Harold or Ralph have a perfect right, nay, a duty to cheat on you with Miss Veronica Homewrecker down the street if you do not remain the gal he married...in every way!

No wrinkles, no fat, no grey hairs...he married you when you were a cutie, now it's your duty to stay that way. Just as fresh-faced, dainty and unspoiled as the day you said "I Do."

Happy marriages are the burden of the wives, ladies. Call the Dorothy Gray Salon today!

And if all else fails, you can always just rub radioactive dirt on your face and pray for a quick death from some hideous cancer.

From 1979: An Overlooked McCartney Gem

This tune peaked at #20 on the Billboard chart on August 4, 1979.

Inexplicably, Sir Paul leaves this tune out of his lexicon and does not perform it in concert (such was the case when I saw him live in 1989). He performed a couple of numbers from the much-maligned Back To The Egg LP, upon which "Getting Closer" appears, but not this gem of a rocker.

Oh, well. It's a favorite of mine. Enjoy. And I think it proves pretty decisively that, when given his druthers, McCartney can rock with the best of them.

From 1945: Beautiful Barbara Hale And Her Tru-Color Lipstick By Max Factor

Photoplay

March 1945

The end of an era.

From 1962: If I Had A Daughter, I Would Force Her Into Kiddie Pageants Just So She Could Sing This Song For The Talent Portion

Just because. I would have been the worst mother.

From 1962's incredible Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?

From 1969: The Mike Douglas Cookbook, Shamelessly Stolen From A Website That Might Just Be My Own Personal Crystal Meth

Old Cookbooks

Sadly, the site does not seem to offer much in the way of recipes, which is actually probably a good thing, because if it did my head would likely explode from all of the vintage goodness. The covers are wonderful enough, and since I love to collect old and rare and vintage cookbooks, I can tell you that Old Cookbooks is about to have another enthusiastic customer.

From 1942: Fighting The Nazis, One Homegrown Tomato At A Time

I joke, but I love stuff like this.

Victory Gardens are also making a comeback.

From 1957: The Days When "Having Your Period" Did Not Mean Laying On The Couch In Your Sweats Eating Chocolate Cake And Handfuls Of Percocet

1957 Modess Ad

Ah, 1979. When "Blue Jeans" Could Also Mean "Satiny Roller Disco Pants Worn By A Refugee From The Final Scenes Of Xanadu."

Tiger Beat

May 1979

Is that Jimmy MacNichol?

From 1966: Otis, Go-Go Dancers, And White People With A Pathetic Sense Of Rhythm

Ready, Steady, Go!

1966

The man had so much soul in him, it was a felony.

Remembering Otis

From 1957: The Single Most Fabulous Car That Ever Existed And The Very Definition Of "A Cherry Ride"

1957 Ford Thunderbird

Such a beauty. I just asked Ken if I could have one. He said that he was pretty sure that our homeowner's association would have a problem with my owning a car that took up half a city block. So it's a one-two punch to my dreams of owning Le Auto De Glamour: My man and The man both say No. Now, how's a girl supposed to express her inner bombshell if forces conspire against her like that? Would Mickey Hargitay have said No to Jayne Mansfield? (Ken: "Would who have said No to who? Do we know these people?")

From 1980: Here's Johnny!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYBODY!

The Shining

1980

"Here's Johnny!" was an ad lib by Jack Nicholson!

From 1977: When Parents Interfere With Halloween Fun

Highlights include Mom turning your bad-ass witch ensemble into a Ku Klux Klan outfit, and a little black boy being encouraged to put himself in whiteface. Also featured is a totally nasty-looking 70's porn dad during the voiceover about how "some adults like to hurt children," as well as a poor unfortunate little boy telling a real knee-slapper of a joke about wieners.

Enjoy.

From 1968: Tannis, Anyone?

Still from Rosemary's Baby

1968

An absolute masterpiece of a film from director Roman Polanski

Taking Back Christmas Again For 2009

I've been getting a lot of traffic regarding Christmas 2009 and how to make it both sensible and meaningful for all concerned. Welcome! This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

In the next two months, I am going to be visiting this topic several times. I would also love to hear your ideas, so leave a comment!

For what it's worth, this has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with that "put Jay-sus back in the holiday" nonsense. If that's what you're here for, you're in the wrong place.

It IS about refusing to buy into the crass commercialism surrounding Christmas, the mindset the makes it peachy-keen to play Christmas Carols in a store as you are picking out your Halloween costume.

It IS about scaling waaaaaaaaaaaay back on the "spend spend spend" mentality that we all pressure ourselves into.

It IS about determining what Christmas means to you, if anything, and acting accordingly.

From 1945: Because "Rubbing Boiled Onions On Your Privates" Is Only Going To Leave You Smelling Like Your Great Aunt Tilly's Apartment Up In Yonkers

1945

From 1987: Forevermore, "Growing Pains" Will Sound Like Some Sort Of Sadomasochistic Fantasy Involving Alan Thicke's Erection And Kirk Cameron

From 1977: dannymyers59 Goes To The Prom

Possibly my favorite pic ever from Flickr.

A Song So Perfect, It Actually Makes Me Cry

Sit back, spark one up, and blow your mind. The Byrds from 1965...it doesn't get much better than this.

This song was the flip side to the massive hit "Turn! Turn! Turn!" It is also rumored to have been inspired by songwriter Gene Clark's intense infatuation with Michelle Phillips, with whom he would later have a passionate, albeit short lived, love affair. The story is that Clark saw Michelle across a smoky room at the Whisky A Go Go. A lifelong victim of anxiety and shyness, Clark was much too timid to approach her. So, instead, he went home and wrote this song about the woman he just saw.

Now being recognized as the pop masterpiece that it is, truly worthy of being a single in its own right, "She Don't Care About Time" is now included in all pressings of the "Turn! Turn! Turn!" CD as a bonus track.

At Long Last: A Piece Of Art Befitting The Foyer Of This Blog

The King and The King, as rendered in oils on black velvet

Nothing Cures A Vegas Hangover Faster Than Pretending Yourself Into An Alternate Universe Where You Are Bonnie Franklin

That dress that Ann Romano is sporting just rocks. I wonder if Ken would consent to being Schneider for Halloween, if I can get my hands on some red hair dye (no problem) and a long pine green polyester housedress with a Lynyrd Skynyrd album cover motif airbrushed onto it (might have to scour a couple of Savers locations).

No yucky comments about Mackenzie Phillips and her father, please. Although it is hard for me to resist the line, "I'm a freak and a weirdo."

Now I am off to find the nail-biting episode arc where Julie and Chuck run away.

For John and Laura Memmer, With All My Love

From 1963

When I found these the other day, I immediately thought of you both and your lovely family.

These are truly outstanding double-clickers.

From 1966: Because "Vos Yeux Attendent d'Elizabeth Arden" Means "Behold, The Three-Headed Dame Behind The Red Door," Au Francais

L'officiel Magazine

1966

I like the Elizabeth Arden salon down on Camelback Road here in Phoenix. It is charmingly retro, as if you are stepping back in time to the days where women spent their days at "the beauty parlor," getting primped and primed and ready for another week of housewifery. It was a cherished, sacred date that was viewed as absolutely necessary by those women who could scrimp enough out of their budgets to afford it. There was also a more clinical feel to the whole operation. Even the "beauty operators" wore white lab-ish coats. A good example of this is the episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy is trying to get Ricky to "let" her try an Italian haircut.

I've had my nails done at Elizabeth Arden before, and I have also had a facial or two. Ten years ago, I used to go there to have my hair cut. As I said, it is charmingly retro, and I enjoy retro enough to overlook their prices, which are criminally high.

Unfortunately, what I find charming, others may find stolid, staid, and just plain old-fashioned. I may be able to justify the prices and the lack of what have become normal, ordinary spa procedures (like aromatherapy or cornmeal scrubs) by pretending that it's 1955, and I am spending the morning at the beauty parlor before having a three-martini lunch at The Colony with the girls before going to an afternoon trunk show at Bonwit Teller, but other potential patrons may not be as mentally ill as I am.

Depressed? Take Speed And You'll Be Wearing A Saucy Beret And High Heels In No Time!

1950s?

From 1924: Anyone For Cocktails?

Double click this magnificent piece for a little taste of a time of elegance and grace that has no place in these callous, crass days.

Sir George Robey

From The 1950s: So You're Foolish Enough To Want To Cast A Broad In Your Television Ad

Happy Coming Out Day! (I Looked For Greeting Cards For All Of My Gay Readers At Target; This Will Have To Do.)

Love should never be legislated.

From November 1980: Here A Hair, There A Hair, Everywhere A Hair Hair

Cosmopolitan

November 1980

A fantabulous double-clicker, this one

Dianne Kay: Undercover Angel

The lovely Dianne Kay, who played Nancy Bradford on Eight Is Enough, set to music.

From 1941: A Mere Twelve Years Before This Magazine Crushed The Soul Of Sylvia Plath

From 1943: She's Pure As New York Snow

I am not a huge fan of Miss Davis,

but I am a huge fan of Gig Young.