May 4, 2007

For Andy, Wherever He Is Tonight

I originally posted this back in October, when Andy first redeployed to Iraq.

This is for you, my darling, wonderful, intelligent, hilarious, beautiful baby brother.

You see, these are the only kinds of things that I can do for you now. Meaningless gestures commemorating a loss that my brain can barely comprehend. Forget about my heart. It's broken. And I don't think it will ever be any other way ever again.

I am going to go to Texas to meet your casket, I think. I don't know if I can handle going to your always hated that kind of thing, anyway...but I cannot bear the thought of you arriving home to stay and no one being there to welcome you back. I cannot bear the thought of you being alone that way.

So...good night, Andy, wherever you are tonight. I love you and I already miss you so much, it defies words.

Somewhere out there
beneath the pale moonlight
someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight.
Somewhere out there
someone's saying a prayer
that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.
And even though I know how very far apart we are
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky.
Somewhere out there
if love can see us through
then we'll be together
somewhere out there, out where dreams come true.
written by James Horner, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil

Copyright 2007, Laura Linger


  1. I am so deeply sorry to read these words.

  2. I don't know why, I don't even know you or your brother, but this has impacted my thoughts tremendously. I am now argrier than ever over this War. It's such a shame what is happening to our families across the nation. I am so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts are with you, as my brother-in-law continues to serve in Iraq. He was redeployed last year after my sister passed away. Now their two daughters have no parent at home.

  3. Laura: I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a brother to Vietnam, and I know the pain you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a handsome young man, and what a horrible tragedy for another family to have to go through this.

  4. it makes me happy that you are going to meet his casket, dont want him to arrive alone. i can't know how he'd feel. but were anything like that to happen to me, i think i'd be very happy to know someone cared so much.

    be strong.

  5. I've lost friends and family to war and disease and just circumstance, and I KNOW it's not even remotely easy to handle the world when death strikes close to you. Know that there are a myriad of people out here who may not know exactly how you are feeling but who are capable of deep sympathy because they've been down a similar road. Peace to you and to Andy.

  6. bigfatdrunk04 May, 2007


    We don't know each other, but I live in Austin if you'll be in this part of the state. If you'd like a meal, need a car, and I might be able to swing a place to stay, please contact me. My email is my username above

    Anything I can do to help...

  7. Laura,

    This horrible, senseless war goes on and on because of the disconnect between most Americans and terrible losses like yours. You have connected a lot of people to Andy and it so important that you keep doing that, for all of us.

  8. Laura,

    I linked over from patriotboy, and want you to know my thoughts are with you. It will get a little easier over time. I'm so sorry......


  9. P.S.
    I hope you don't mind, I linked to you from my blog.


  10. Laura,

    Though we don't know each other, I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and I am holding you and Andy in my heart.

  11. Charlotte Cox04 May, 2007

    Just as Bigfatdrunk offered his to meet with you and host you if you are coming to the Austin area, I would be happy to offer a place to stay, meals, transportation and whatever kind of support I could offer if you are coming to the Houston area. I post on DU occasionally, so that is where I found out about your terrible loss of Andy (my oldest sons name). Contact me through DU if I can help. I am so sorry.
    With love,

  12. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

  13. Anonymous04 May, 2007

    Laura, it's Icebreaker here. I'm stunned and very saddened to read this news. I've been sitting here trying to think of something profound to say, but I'm basically speechless. I can't say anything else right now without sounding trite or cliched, but please know that I am thinking of you and your family and hoping only for the best for you during this terrible time.


  14. I am very sorry for your loss. Bless him, and your family. It is hard enough for parents, but also hard knowing that one of the people you were supposed to know and be friends with for most of your life is gone.

    I remember when my brother deployed from Germany to Iraq in 1991. I was a total mess for months. But he came home whole, and a few PTSD problems, but he worked through it.

    I wish I could go to Killeen to meet up with you, but I can't with my kids.


  15. Thinking kind thoughts for you and your family...

  16. Laura,
    So sorry for the horrific loss of your baby brother. I'm a baby brother and I always loved and was proud of my big sister. Peace to you and your family, forever.

  17. I'm sorry for your loss and promise to work harder for an end to this godforsaken conflict. Your thoughts and feelings for your brother must have always been a comfort to him.


  18. Laura- My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Peace to you.

    -Katie Allison Granju