May 7, 2007

Scraping Myself Up Off The Floor

Andy's body has been returned to the United States. He is in Dover, Delaware.

His funeral should be in the next couple of days. We're having it in our hometown of Lafayette, Indiana, actually...not Texas. It turns out that Andy's two best friends went to the Tippecanoe Memorial Gardens immediately after receiving the news and reserved a burial plot for Andy right next to Dad.

It just occurred to me that I don't have a suitable dress, nothing to wear that would be appropriate for burying my brother. I guess that I shall go shopping, and soon. We have to leave for Indiana in the next few days. I need to go out and find a pretty new black dress, suitable for such an occasion. Just thinking about doing that exhausts me, though. I haven't been able to get out of bed all day. I sleep, or I stare blankly at the chattering television, or I just lie there, staring at the ceiling.

I guess it doesn't matter what I wear. Regardless of what dress I choose, Andy will still be dead.

Copyright 2007, Laura Linger


  1. You are in the middle of the most difficult time Laura...the funeral will be very hard, but that is when you can start actual movement through the grief process, when the sharpest pain begins to slowly recede.
    The things you are doing are normal for someone in your situation. Grief involves saying goodbye and time passing, you just need to take it moment by moment before day by day.
    So, he will rest beside your beloved father, that is a really, really nice thing. At funerals, I wear black too, but I always make sure I wear green, also. To remind me of life, new life, the cycle and the legacy. To remember the life and the individual, to say goodbye, to express faith in the power of love and to trancend pain, Laura. I wish you luck and send you my heartfelt wishes that all runs as smoothly as possible. Tx.

  2. Anonymous08 May, 2007

    I found you through Katie Granju's blog.

    I am so sorry to read about your brother.
    I felt compelled to post because I live in Lafayette and have read about your brother in the local paper.

    My thoughts are with your family at this most difficult time.

    Margot Sondgeroth