May 6, 2007

Disbelief

Andy, how am I supposed to live my life now, without you in it?

My darling baby brother...how can this be true?

I held you as a baby. Now I must watch them put you in your grave at 28 years old. So much living yet to do with your life. I wish that I could get that baby back, to hold him in my arms once again and never let him go.

Dear God, I will give anything, ANYTHING, for You to make this not be true. Take MY life, if You must.

But please, please, God...make this not be true.










I'm gonna live my life
like every day's the last
without a simple goodbye
it all goes by so fast

and now that you're gone
I can't cry heard enough
I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now

gonna open my eyes
and see for the first time
I've let go of you like
a child letting go of his kite

There it goes up in the sky
there it goes beyond the clouds
for no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now

gonna look back in vain
and see you standing there
when all that remains
is just an empty chair

and now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough
I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now

There it goes, up in the sky
there it goes beyond the clouds
for no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
no I can't cry hard enough
for you to hear me now





Copyright 2007, Laura Linger

10 comments:

  1. joncitizen06 May, 2007

    Laura, I am so sorry to hear your awful news. Please accept my sincere condolences. For what its worth, there are a lot of people in Australia thinking of you and your family right now.

    The pictures you posted of Andy always came into my head when I thought of the guys over there. As did all of the things you wrote about your family's experiences. Its just so awful. I can't believe it. I'm so sorry.

    Sincerely, joncitizen

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  2. I'm so damned sorry for your loss.
    This is just worse than anything I can imagine.
    Dammit.

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  3. i am so very sorry! i feel the pain that is tearing your heart as i lost my baby brother 2 1/2 years ago. a piece of me is gone now.
    i am so very sorry.

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  4. Please allow me to offer condolences to your family. Keep on keeping on, your dear brother would want to see his family thrive. Your life has suffered a horrific change and irreplaceable loss and I feel for you.

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  5. Oh Laura,
    Words can't possibly express my condolences. I wish I could be there, love, to comfort you. Just know that you and Jane are in my constant thoughts and prayers and if there were anything I could do to shoulder some of your burden, I'd be first in line.
    Always,
    Kathy Bennett Ellet

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  6. Laura, I'm so very sorry.

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  7. Greg Adams06 May, 2007

    Laura,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Kate and the rest of your family. It is tragic. Thank you for your post on AMAL about cherishing those we have. It is inspiring that even in a time of grief, you are able to take the high road and work on peace and understanding.

    Greg Adams
    Melbourne, Australia.

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  8. Laura.

    I am truly sorry that you have lost your beloved brother Andy.

    Life will never, never be the same for you. I understand (though dealing with my own loss)that the ache will remain and will be as visible as a missing limb for a long time yet. Yet I am confident that you will prevail.

    From what I've read about you and your family in your personal and generous blog I know, deep in my heart that you would have made Andy so proud to be your brother. Just as I am confident that you will continue to do so. You are a special and inspirational person and my heart just aches for you.

    Be strong. Be brave. You are loved.

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  9. I am so very sorry. Words fail me.

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  10. Laura,
    When I read the J&C story about him I started desperately trying to count back the years to try and convince myself that it could not be him. Surely there had to be two Andy Weiss'.

    I hadn't seen him since we graduated high school--but from the pictures--what a wonderful man he grew into.

    Please accept my deepest condolences. I know there is nothing I can say to make this better, but I am thinking of you and crying with you.

    Sincerely,

    Susan (Holt) Carroll

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