Meet Cardy McCharge-a-lot, kids!
He's the Official BankAmericard Clown, and he makes getting into dire financial straits by the age of 21 FUN!
"Ha ha! Don't be a silly goose! Remember what Cardy says! Charge the stuff you want now, and worry about it later! You don't need silly things like money any longer! Money is for squares! Charging is what the cool kids do, like smoking cigarettes! You want to fit in, don't you, boys and girls?"
Kids were sure to charge lots and lots of Nembutal on their new BankAmericards, as they most certainly were seeing this evil banking clown and hearing his fast-and-loose fiduciary advice in their nightmares. Let's examine this scenario, shall we?
Scene: The Smith House. Anywhere, USA. October 4, 1966. 2:33am.
Mrs. Smith has been awakened by a noise. She turns to her husband.
"John, do you hear that?"
"ummmgfk?"
"I think little Jimmy is crying again."
"ummmgfk."
"He's been having problems sleeping ever since last week, when he insisted upon coming with me to the bank so that he could get a free Dum Dum sucker."
"ummmgfk. ummmgfk."
"He was all upset on the car ride home, pale and shaking, and he kept pulling his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth, and muttering make it go away, make it go away. Naturally I just assumed that little Jimmy got stuck with that horrible root beer flavor for his free sucker."
"ummmgfk."
"Well, dear, you have to work tomorrow, so I'll go see what is wrong."
Mrs. Smith gets up, puts on her dressing gown and slippers, and walks quietly down the hall.
Upon entering little Jimmy's room...
"Make it stop, Mommy!"
"Make what stop, little Jimmy-schnookums?"
"The clown...the clown...THE HIDEOUS LAUGHTER, OBSCENELY BRIGHT PATTERNED COSTUME AND UNSOUND FINANCIAL COUNSEL OF THE BANKAMERICARD CLOWN! Gimme the nighty-night pills, Mommy! GIVE ME THE NIGHTY-NIGHT PILLS!"
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