It has been scientifically proven* that 4 out of 5 Stinky Husbands do NOT get ahead at the office! In fact, Stinky Husbands are often prone to holding only the hottest, loudest, and yes, STINKIEST jobs in existence.
Consider, ladies, if you will, the following horrifying true-life examples:
One Stinky Husband in Boise, Idaho, has been forced into a life of humiliating servitude as a professional skunk milker. What his employer does with the milk, we do not know, as the man works for Jennings Trimble, an accounting firm.
Another Stinky Husband in Los Angeles, California, is a popular "before" test subject for several well-known soap and deodorant manufacturer, including This Humble Advertiser. The stink from his armpits is so legendary that he is known in the biz as "The Swamp."
And yet another Stinky Husband in Yonkers, New York, was fired from his job as assistant manager of a cheese shop because he kept arguing with his customers, who kept asking for Limburger cheese. Trouble was, the shop didn't carry Limburger...but his customers never believed him, because they swore they could smell the dairy delight's pungent odor! (Guess what the odor's actual source was.)
Get the picture? America's Stinky Husbands are being humiliated for their funkiness!
Are the Wives Of America to blame? This Humble Advertiser says YES!
Our Almighty God did not mean for our American males to be Stinky Husbands. Is that what YOUR husband fought the Nazis or the Japs for? Think about it.
Use Lifebuoy Soap in your household and be a fresh, clean, patriotic American today!
*No, it really hasn't, but we dressed up a bunch of the junior executives in white coats and gave them test tubes to hold, so it looked really official. This is the 1940s, after all, and who needs truth in advertising. Just you wait until the 1950s, when we bring you the chlorophyll craze!