September 24, 2008

Why Christians Should Never Be Permitted Around Musical Instruments

This clip, straight from The Pit Of Hades Itself, has so many things in it that I love:
...the Foursome Of Christian Coolness on backing vocals!

...the white soul keyboard stylings of the 38-year-old woman on her Yamaha portable home organ!

...the attempts to coordinate a look by the women ("I don't know, Madge, but if I were you, I'd wear that real pretty blue dress you wore to Pastor Heemstra's 75th Anniversary Potluck Dinner.  What's that?  You ripped the one arm when you were dishing up some of your Cheesy Noodle Kaboodle?  How'd you manage that one?  Well, I'll bring my Stitch Witch to the taping, mmmkay?")

...the funky bass solo!

...the studied attempt by the vocalist to sing New Wave!  Move over, Dale Bozzio...there's a Christian afoot, and he wants to wear your stilettos.

...the not-terribly-chaste eyefuckery by the vocalist toward the camera!

...the "I was fired from the Heartbreakers by Tom Petty himself" hip moves by the guitarist!

...the super-funky "footloose and Famolare!" 1982 blue footwear on the guitarist!

...the "Ooooh!" word: "J-J-J-Jesus!"

Yeah, Jesus is my friend.  Although I think that if I sang a song like this about Him, He'd stop returning my phone calls.  And do you think that Jesus ever dated Bebe Buell?

A special hello to dougsploitation, who has long recognized the ooey gooey Jesusy Noodle Kaboodle that is "Sonseed."  (I'm apparently late to the ballgame; I was inside the ladies' room during the national anthem, gossiping and teasing my hair.)  His blog is incredibly cool, too.


  1. of course Jesus dated Bebe. Everyone else did back in the 70s.

  2. If I try to run and hide, he'll hunt me down, touch me inside and ZAP me!?!?! Wow. That's hardcore.

    The sick side of me thinks that lead singer would be cute...if only....

  3. I'm a big fan of turning the piano bench over on its side so you can precariously balance your Casio keyboard on it for a jaunty tune.

    Oh, my.... the stupid! How it burns!

    And was it just me, or is there something very Johnny Fever-ish about Hoppy the Axeman?

    p.s. Friggin' great. Now I've got that stupid song STUCK in my brain.... aaauuugghhh!!!!!

  4. Oh my god, Thalia - are you my long-lost twin sister??? I LOVE your blog - I can't wait to explore the whole she-bang. (That's a word, right?) I'm adding a link TONIGHT! Thanks for the shout out to my blog. Let's be friends!!!

    - Doug