March 19, 2010

From 1965: Too Much Glamour For One Little Shampoo Commercial

The model in this commercial knows that glamour must be achieved no matter what is on her head. Simulated shampoo that looks like the froth atop nuclear waste? Why, make yourself a sudsy hairdo so glamourous, Kenneth himself might have coiffed you! (Having your husband's brains splashed all over your pink suit is NOT an excuse to have raggedy hair, after all.) And you must always remember your faux jewel hair accessory. It makes any hairstyle, even that made of Chemical Froth, extra glamourous.

The Toxic Waste Look is so fabby, the model's "natural" hairstyle ("natural" meaning "23 pounds of hair spray and six hours with a ratting comb") almost disappoints. She did remember to wear her lovely jewel again. Well, after all, Mr. Bigshot Producer is taking her to dinner at The Palm tonight, and then they have tickets to Drat! The Cat! afterward. And maybe if she's very, very good, they'll stop at Sardi's for a drink. That's where all the Theatre People mingle, you know. She's sure that, with her snazzy soft freshly shampooed hair, her jewel glistening just right in the nightlight, she'll get discovered. Maybe a reading for Something Shakespeare. She's always fancied herself a Serious Actress.

Or at the very least, Mr. Bigshot Producer will pay her rent, so that her awful mean married landlord won't remind her, with a sneer and a laugh that betrays no real humor, that "you'll pay, one way or another, either in cash, or I'll...take it out in trade," every time she sees him.

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