July 6, 2013

From 1983: Margaret's Sweet 16 Birthday Party

"Taken with a Kodak Instamatic with flashcube."

I'm not sure which one is Margaret, but I love this picture: wood paneling; a dude with a mustache and tinted glasses; a guy who looks like either a used car dealer or the lead singer for Sparks in the back; the wonderfully random Rose Acre Farms crate ("the good egg people"); the LPs and some sort of makeshift DJ booth; the elegant choice of decorations for this fĂȘte galante, including a "sweet sixteen" banner.

I'm sure the dining choices for this gala included several buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken, several bags of Taco flavor Doritos, one of those sugary grocery store bakery cakes the size of Texas with pink rosettes in each corner and "Happy Birthday, Margaret!" written in loopy pink frosting script.   And five cases of Schlitz.

Who was this motley crew of boys, I wonder?  Well, I will venture a guess: the boy in the plaid shirt is Margaret's slightly older brother, and those knuckleheads are his friends.  They've known Margaret since she was a little girl, and they love her like a sister.  Honestly, they do.  It's just that...little Margaret is growing up to be hot.

And you just know that these awful boys took over poor Margaret's party, most likely forcing the DJ to play nothing but Rush, Van Halen, and KISS records all night while they drank Schlitz and talked about Atari and  Phoebe Cates' tits.  

"Hey, man!  Play Christine Sixteen again!  KISS Army rules! Happy birthday, Margaret!"


  1. You are so hilarious. God, yes, Phoebe's boobs. So so hot.

  2. I think one of those guys went to high school with my brother.

  3. Anonymous, are you teasing? Because let me dream of a day where I could actually interview one of these guys as to the circumstances of this photo.

  4. "Dory McClean" on Metalocalypse has to be a parody of "Christine Sixteen."

  5. Yes about Dory McClean. Absolutely. And any Dethklok fan is a friend of me and this blog, believe me. "She's gonna suck it all night." I don't like Dr. Rockzo, but that episode made me laugh so hard. :-)

  6. this is priceless, you got it exactly right I'll bet :)