Grocery Store Favorites: When Safeway Exploits My Totally Mutual Breakup With Kyle That Was Totally Mutual And That I Am Totally Over. Really.

From 1985, here's Klymaxx with "I Miss You."

I love this song. These are the broads who brought you the genius "Meeting In The Ladies' Room," so this tune was kind of a departure for them.

It's also the song that I listened to over and over and over and over and over and over, circa 1986, when Kyle and I totally broke up by mutual decision and no, I still don't care in the least little bit that he brought some freshman girl named Sindi to the homecoming dance instead of me. In fact, I was glad that he did. It gave me plenty of time to Work On My Anguished Poetry and write "Laura + Kyle 2-good 2B 4-gotten" on the plastic lining of my Trapper Keeper. The Trapper Keeper Memorial is permanent, y'all. That's love.

Now pardon me while I go shop among the many flavor varieties of vodka. My eyes are red because I have allergies, people.

From Very Early 1985: Words Are So Cheap, But They Can Turn Out Expensive

I equate this song with being a lost Catholic schoolgirl in an utterly overwhelming public high school. That first, most difficult year of whistling in the graveyard.

From 1985: Willow Bay Is Beautiful

I have been wearing this scent, off and on, for over twenty years. It is also the perfume I wore on my wedding day.

Friday Feline Finale: The Biggest Whore Of Them All

He's known by one name only: Morris.


And in 1985...



And one without a date, but it looks like the 1980s-era Morris.

Drop this hot slut a line at his Twitter account.

We Are The Mods

The Style Council

"Shout To The Top"

1985