From 1978: Kelly Emberg and My Favorite Summer Perfume

Next to Gia, Kelly Emberg is my favorite model.

Grocery Store Favorites: How Much I Feel

It pains me to list this as a Grocery Store Favorite, because this song is my jam.

Ambrosia took on several incarnations, this one obviously being the most successful. This tune was their biggest hit, reaching #3 on the Billboard chart in 1978. They would follow up with "Biggest Part of Me" and "You're The Only Woman (You and I)," both in 1980.

All three hits qualify as Grocery Store Favorites, which is a real shame, because they are some great examples of Blue-Eyed Soul.

I suddenly have an urge to order a half pound of pastrami, shaved thin.

From 1978: If It's Monday, It Must Be Massengill

I also like to call this post "Girl, Your Twat So Stanky!"

The one woman must have spent too much time feathering her hair and getting her Annie Hall outfit just right to bother with unleashing her inner June Cleaver and giving The Beaver a good going over with the soap.

The other woman just so happened to have a Massengill Vinegar and Water douche right there, at the ready. Maybe she was going to use some of it on her salad for lunch, and then whip up a Cunt Vinaigrette for later.

From 1978: Big Shot

Written about one of the biggest rock n' roll starfuckers of the Studio 54 era,
Bianca Jagger.

They were all impressed with your Halston dress
and the people that you knew at Elaine's
and the stories of your latest success,
you kept 'em so entertained
But now you just don't remember all the things you said
and you're not sure that you want to know
I'll give you one hint, honey:
you sure did put on a show.

From 1978: Two Great American Treats In One

One of my all-time favorite sweet treats. My favorite flavors are Cherry and Blue Razz.

From 1978: Thank God It's Friday

This has been a uniquely shitty week.

Thank God it's Friday.

From 1978: When Racism Permeates Even Household Cleaning Products

Luckily for this woman, her household cleaner is "a white tornado." How else would she have the time to take singing lessons, iron and starch her Mom Jeans, and put on that much eyeliner?

From 1978: The Ham Is Joke Enough; No Polish Jokes Necessary

People
December 11, 1978

And yet I am so hungry right now, this ad has actually caused my stomach to growl!

From 1978: Yes, I Still Want To Be Kristy MacNichol...Or, In A Pinch, Jimmy Will Do

I idolized Kristy MacNichol when I was a kid. I mean, just really worshiped the ground she walked on. And I watched this Dick Clark special back in 1978 just to catch a glimpse of her and her brother singing "He's A Dancer." So much freaking conga. This song is a WIN.

Friday Feline Finale: The Biggest Whore Of Them All

He's known by one name only: Morris.


And in 1985...



And one without a date, but it looks like the 1980s-era Morris.

Drop this hot slut a line at his Twitter account.

From 1978: Danish Stunner Bitten Knudsen

Vogue (USA)
December 1978

From 1978: Obviously "Garish Colors" Are What Make Sheraton A Showplace

People

April 24, 1978

From 1978: The Most Beautiful Woman Who Ever Lived

You don't need to speak a word of French to understand how great this movie is.

This is my favorite scene, where Miss Deneuve eats potato chips and rides in a convertible through Paris at night with her lover, Antoine.

From 1968, La Chamade (The Heartbeat)

Just In Time For Christmas, 1978: A Creepy Mirror That Distorts Your Image In Four Disturbing Ways, By Clairol

People

December 4, 1978

Because a girl's gotta wear the correct number of layers of eyeshadow when she goes out to the discos, right?  And she needs to know the exact amount of lip gloss to wear while she's at home.  It wouldn't do if she wore the wrong shade of lipstick in the office; what would the other gals in the secretarial pool say?  For outdoors, well, she needs to indulge her inner John Denver while still contributing some ka-ching to the Aziza coffers.

As Evidenced By This Feature From 1978, The Good Folks At Family Circle Magazine Think That "Creole Flavor" Means "Sticking Green Peppers In It"

Did anyone else not know that canned food was so versatile?

Double-click for the recipe goodness, as usual.  Does anyone really need to be told how to make a chef's salad?  Or a reuben sandwich?  And drowning your chicken in canned soup...that's good eating, I guess, at least when Jimmy Carter's the prez.

Is it just me, or does that tuna pocket recipe read suspiciously like The Salad of '75?

Family Circle

May 19, 1978

Because Black People Apparently Don't Have Any Use For A Crock Pot

Not to mention Asians...what, you can't make Chun King chop suey in a Crock Pot, silly!

However, you CAN make "skinny food for dieters" in your Crock Pot.  You know, if you need to take off some weight for nightly trips to the discos because your husband just left you "to do his own thing," which is basically Husbands In The Seventies Speak for, "do my own thing...right up my Loni Anderson wannabe secretary from the office, with whom I will relocate out to Venice Beach and spend the rest of my midlife crisis roller skating on the boardwalk like a jackass and eating sprouts and wearing super-short jogging shorts and boob chains."

People

May 1, 1978

Jessica, Oh Jessica

From 1978, which were her earliest days at NBC...

People Magazine Archive: A Constant Source Of Intoxication To Nerds Like Me And You

I'm just glad that this cover wasn't like those musical Hallmark cards.

They never would have sold a copy if you opened the cover to Linda's "singing."

*shudder*

And this was the best take of the bunch, the one they used?

For Those Special Times When You Feel Like Sipping Something Elegant With Your Enchirito And Nachos Bel Grande

People

November 20, 1978