From 1979: Gorgeous, Gorgeous Gia

There will never be enough words said about her beauty. She really was one of the best models who ever lived, and she managed to attain that status in less than five years of working in the industry and despite having a, shall we say, dangerous way of living.

This photo appeared in the April, 1979, issue of Vogue UK.

If you double-click the photo, prepare to be stunned.

From Gia Carangi Editorials (a wonderful site)

From 1979: Gia Carangi In Chanel Creations

Beautiful double-clicker.

The Dreams That Filled Stadiums

From 1964, Brian Epstein appears as "Mr. X" on the popular television program What's My Line?

An immensely charming and intelligent man, Brian never had any sort of real happiness in his life, aside from his association with The Beatles as their manager. And even then, whatever happiness he managed to glean from that role was fleeting and unsatisfactory.

His interest in the group stemmed from his romantic interest in John Lennon, an interest that is said to have been reciprocated on several occasions. The two men took a vacation together to Barcelona, Spain in April 1963. Peter Brown reports in his excellent Beatle biopic The Love You Make that Lennon went along because he "...wanted to see what fucking a bloke was like."

John Lennon was often cruel to Brian Epstein about his homosexual proclivities. When Epstein wrote and published his autobiography in 1964, titled A Cellarful of Noise, Lennon's only reaction to the book was to snarl at Brian that the title should have been A Cellarful of Boys.

Brian Epstein died in his home on the 27th of August, 1967, from an accidental drug overdose. A notorious insomniac, one of the components in his sleeping tablets, carbitol, had built up to a lethal amount. Brian Epstein's heart simply stopped as a result.

In the end, I think Peter Brown put it best in The Love You Make:

"Here was a man whose passions had sparked an entertainment phenomenon, who had influenced the course of history, but the world would only remember his unhappiness and not the dreams that filled stadiums."

How I Choose To Remember Charlie

March 9, 1987

Gorgeous, with the makings of A Real Movie Star.
A terrific double-clicker.

From 1970: When Psychedelic Twins Sell Cold Medicine

I could sure use some frigging Dristan today.
My sinuses are terrible.

Can you even conceptualize the amount of mind-bending chemicals that were included in cold remedies back in 1970? And you were probably encouraged to "wash the pills down with the alcoholic beverage of your choice" in the package directions!

The Most Seventies Song Of The Seventies

Just sit back, switch on your lava lamp, spark one up, and let the good vibes flow from this easy-listening tale of hitchhiking, anonymous sex, and a van that no doubt had an elaborate design on its side of winged unicorns and oversized mushrooms....an airbrushed interpretation of a trip the driver had one time when he took mescaline and went to Laser Zeppelin.

This Early Seventies PSA Just Makes Me Want To Do Drugs Even More

I mean, isn't the point of this clip that drugs will cause you to star in your own super-groovy episode of Scooby Doo, along with Mama Cass and The Harlem Globetrotters?

Or Don Knotts? Or Jerry Reed?



Christ, I need a Scooby Snack. Where's the peppermint bark (get it? bark? Scooby Doo was a dog? No?) I bought the other day?

This PSA Is A Hell Of A Lot More Effective Than That Constipated Moralistic Nancy Reagan Nonsense

As you can see, this was aired sometime in 1972, as you see a snippet of The Price Is Right with Bob Barker. Dig the miniskirt on one of Barker's Beauties!

From 1977: Tootsie Rolls Extolled As An Effective Antidepressant And Possible Mild Hallucinogen

Sing along, Seventies Kids! I know you know every word to this jingle!

And okay, was there ANY facet to our shared existence in The Seventies where drug use did not play a significant role? Even something as innocuous as Tootsie Rolls, possibly the most delicious of all Halloween treats, was advertised with cartoon children tripping out on chocolaty goodness, seeing airplanes and tree trunks and even an errant whale in a lake turning into Tootsie Rolls!

"The world looks mighty good to me...I'll claim it's the Tootsie Rolls that I am eating, but it's really because of the two Quaaludes I stole from my big sister's purse this morning before I left for school..."

Edited to add: look at the slogan at the very end of the commercial, with the sort-of Lincoln Log structure of Tootsie Rolls. How times have changed. I think that the intention was for it to read as if someone was making a "yummy" noise, and then excitedly mentioning that "it's from Tootsie Roll." Instead, I initially read it with a Chandler Bing-type sarcastic bent. "Ummm...it's from Tootsie Roll (you moron)?!!?"

From 1956: Blech.

I'm sick...some sort of overenthusiastic bug is chewing on my innards. Ever feel like you were accidentally shoved in front of a milk truck and it ran over you five times? Yeah. That's how I feel.

And Benadryl, any incarnation of it, should be sold on the street. I took some for the watery eyes and snuffly nose aspect of this flu and I woke up 18 hours later!

So I thought I would appease The Cold And Flu Gods by creating a post about vintage soup advertising, and this is what I found. Just what you want to look at when you are sick...pea soup the color of vomit. And to think, this is the best the graphic artists of the day could do with the color! What did this soup really look like? Sheesh.


Women's Day
April 1956

From 1959: When Huge Jugs And Perception-Bending Drugs Collide In The Mind Of The Man In The Grey Flannel Suit

What a piece of work this gem is!

Not only will Good Old Harvey no longer "lie there and mope," he will live to see another day to be his usual lecherous and unpleasant self...thanks to the magic of the wizards at Smith, Kline, and French!

Indeed, a "bright side" for your patients...and the hardworking nurses who just love to be ogled by them!

Dexamyl featured a mixture of dextroamphetamine and amobarbital in an extended release capsule (the "Spansule"). This highly addictive drug was very popular on the street, where it was sold under the name of "Christmas Trees," so named for their bright green capsules and pearly white granules visible within.

Dexamyl was taken off the market on June 30, 1973.

From 1967: When Bands Rip Off The Sgt. Pepper Cover

I Dream (HA!) Of Having Been An Insomniac Back In The Olden Days

A terrific double clicker.

Yes, my old nemesis Insomnia is paying me a visit again. I went to Walgreens and asked the pharmacist for some Dr. Miles Nervine effervescent tablets. He looked at me funny (a common occurrence pour moi) and directed me to the parking lot, where Al, Our Friendly Neighborhood Dope Pusher, was dealing out of his 1993 Ford Aerostar. I'm not sure what Al gave me, but they didn't help me sleep. However, I am peeing purple.

Vintage Sick Rooms: Ah, To Have Been Ill In The Olden Days

It's actually a bit of gallows humor, here...I am very sick. I have a pretty serious lung infection. The thing is, I didn't even realize it. I went to the doctor this morning about my sinuses and an expedient x-ray exposed the real problem. A cough had been bugging me for a while now, but I didn't think it was anything so...drastic.

I'm on bedrest until Saturday and swallowing antibiotics like mad. If the infection isn't cleared up by next week, I have to go in the hospital until it clears. Yes, it's that bad. I cannot stress this enough, folks: I had no idea that I was this sick.

Anyway, back to the vintage.

Oh, to have been sick back in the more elegant days of 23 Skiddoo and pole sitting! Doctors really knew how to hook their patients up back then. Now, I have a prescription bottle of codeine cough medicine sitting on my vanity table that is the only good thing out of this whole business of the Streptococcus Pneumoniae Construction Company building little paramecia condos in my lungs. But did you catch the bit about Cosadein syrup having a Healthy Helping of the sweet, sweet leaf? Can you imagine how delightful a spoonful of that viscous delicacy must have been? Forget the scientific name of Cosedein. They should have just called it what it actually was: Heaven's Nectar.

Also, in modern medicine, I was given just an itty-bitty bottle of the codeine syrup. Addictions must be prevented, after all, although you still see a new episode of Intervention every week. I digress. Did I read that right...Cosadein was served up in GALLON jugs for cough-suppressing enjoyment? Pardon me while I ponder how wonderful life would be if I could carry around my own gallon jug of codeine goodness with me at all times. I would even deck it out like Granny did for her hooch on The Beverly Hillbillies, with the "XXX" on the front, instead of the label. People in the olden days got it right. Cough bothering you? Take a healthy swig from your gallon flask of codeine mixed with ganja. You might still cough, but you no longer mind, and suddenly you feel more charitable toward your mother-in-law.

Depressed? Take Speed And You'll Be Wearing A Saucy Beret And High Heels In No Time!

1950s?

Thirty Years Ago Today: Carol Burnett's Kid On Ludes, Shelly Hack, Club Med For Kids, Barbara Eden's Legs, And Pia Zadora

With A Lovely Name Like "Mornidine," You Just Know That It's Safe

No date available; my money is on the late 40s or early 50s.

Incredibly, this is not an ad rejoicing that The Crazy Bitch Wife can finally get back to her wifely duties like fixin' a Hungry Hubby his morning sausage and eggs.

No, it seems as though Mornidine was a drug prescribed for morning sickness. That's right. Morning sickness. Mornidine...get it now? You know, because a trivial matter like being deathly ill during the gestation of your child is no reason for Hubby to have to go without his pigs in a blanket.

Mornidine was taken off the market on July 17, 1969. It was deemed to be dangerous, or something. I suspect Flipper Babies, or possibly babies being born as Acid Freaks, but am unable to find much about its removal from the market on The Internets.

Furthermore, the evidence as to how American Breakfasts suffered as a result is anecdotal, at best.

"A Sleep-Through Night." And The Following Morning. And The Afternoon.

A fantastic double-clicker, this one.

From 1971.

Better Living Through Chemistry: Meet Bridget, The Fidget

1956

Ah, the Fifties.  When plain old ordinary human foibles were medicated away by the rampant use of barbiturates.

This one is a real double-clicker.

A Touch Of Tuesday Weld Presents: A Lesson In Jive Talk

Interesting facts about Marihuana, aka Reefers, aka Pot, aka Satan's Harvest:

Only white people smoke reefers.

4 out of 5 male dope peddlers prefer Botany 500 knits and casuals.

Reefers make otherwise well-groomed girls favor sack dresses.

Having a missing daughter is not an excuse to forgo a necktie as you scour the newspapers for any word as to her fate.

Communism can, nay, SHOULD be blamed for the marihuana menace.

Invertebrate malcontents must also be blamed for Satan's Harvest, but then again, those nogoodniks are probably Reds, anyway.

Dope fiends in the Fifties unfortunately did not have access to the dazzling array of snack choices we Americans enjoy today.