From 1979: The Only Way This Clip Could Have Been Rendered More Awesome Was If There Was A Cameo By Ponch And Jon

See, that's why The Seventies were awesome. Truckers were cool, they openly smoked Kimo Sabe in their cabs, on any given day you might have run into Cher on roller skates wearing zebra print skintight leotards, cops and bikers were friends, and gorgeous drag queens channeling Lady Day could be found at truck stops.

This was the theme song to the 1979 epic, Roller Boogie.

Because In My Little Corner Of The Universe, You Can Just Never Have Enough Of Michael Jackson Robot Dancing

Okay, I think that I may have stumbled upon a clip that is even cooler than The Official Coolest Clip On The Planet, that of Cher doing a robot dance with Michael and his brothers on a 1976 telecast of the Cher show. (You have to watch until about the 3:50 mark, but it's so, so worth it, and you get to listen to Cher add her vocal stylings to Jackson 5 classics in the process!)

However.

Here is a clip of a Jackson 5 funkdown on The Merv Griffin Show in 1974. And as much as I love Cher and her glittery jumpsuit, I think that this clip might just be a serious contender for the Coolest Clip title (that, incidentally, I just made up as I was washing the lunch dishes...and is still more valuable than an Academy Award, but I digress).

I mean, this clip has it all. My evidence:

Michael doing a robot dance that has finally shown me once and for all what The Youths Of Today mean when they say something is "fucking SICK!"

Jermaine sporting a hairdo that looks like the afro equivalent of a porn 'stauche!

Funky soul brothers wearing pimped-out 1974-style fededoras providing the percussion and the keyboards!

Conga drums, courtesy of a Jackson brother (Randy? Marlon?)!

Stupid White People unable to get the funk going in their hearts for fifteen seconds, even for Michael Freaking Jackson! (I would have completely embarrassed myself by getting up and doing a little White Girl get-down, all totally off beat, of course. But still, that would have been cooler than Merv's All-White Audience Of Blinding Caucasian Lameness.)

And, of course...it's got Merv!