Found Photos: Prom Glamour!

Hopeful pastel-colored tissue-paper blooms, the lovely smile of a young lady wearing what I suspect is the product of many hours of labor by her mother at a sewing machine and a Simplicity pattern (or perhaps she made it All By Herself in her Home Ec class), the proud yet slightly sheepish smile of a tall young man who is thrilled to be the young lady's escort (so you can forgive his predilection for plaid)...it's photos like these that keep me blogging here.

For more Prom Glamour, be sure to check out my tribute to Prom 1965!

November 23rd, 1979...On ABC

Nothing warms the jaded cockles of my heart like a fresh big ole' mess of commercials from 1979.  It's like God heard my prayer, (no, not the one where The Almighty starts bestowing upon me an unlimited supply of Xanax-infused Magnum ice cream bars, the other prayer) and He had me find His bountiful, um, bounty on YouTube just now.

  These commercials aired on ABC on November 23rd, 1979.

1. Contac
2. Mystique Books
3. Maybelline Eye Color Styling Pencils
4. Tostitos
5. Promo for "The Ropers", "Detective School", "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island"
6. ABC Station ID
7. TV Spot for "10"
8. Chimere
9. Promo for "When She Was Bad"
10. "Playboy's Roller Disco & Pajama Party" Commercial Bumper
11. Promo for "Mork & Mindy"
12. Eyewitness News Update
13. Amoco
14. Promo for "Ski Scene"
15. KSTP Station ID
16. One A Day Plus Iron
17. Signal
18. Promo for "Eight Is Enough", "Charlie's Angels" and "Vega$"
19. Hefty
20. Ruffles
21. Pepsi
22. Mazda RX-7
23. "Playboy's Roller Disco & Pajama Party" End Credits

 I must have done something to please Our Lord.  Oh, I know what it must have been: I didn't steal 23 packets of chopsticks at the conveyor belt sushi joint yesterday like I usually do.  Thanks, Santa Jesus!

"When She Was Bad" = "When Television Movies Had Cheryl Ladd and Robert Urich In Them, And Life Was Great"

Dorothy Stratten was featured heavily in the Playboy show, both roller-skating in a bikini and dancing in modest lingerie with The Village People (ironically, to a song called, "Are You Ready For The Eighties?"). You don't see her in this clip, but it's easy to find on YouTube.  

All kidding aside...I know Dorothy was a gift from God.  
It hurts to look at her, knowing that her happiness on earth would be so brief.

From 1975: Kim, In The Fourth Grade

Beautiful.

I wonder if Kim's mother made that dress for her.

"...so I have more time to tease my hair to dizzying heights!"

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy Convenient Meats as much as the next gal, especially in a party setting, as I am usually too shy to speak to anyone and wind up drowning my sorrows in several party-size platters of assorted cold cuts.

And I am willing to overlook the fact that Our Lovely Hostess has apparently chosen to go with a quasi-Polynesian theme for her Whores Devores (hors d'oeuvres).  You just know those cherries came straight from a glorious syrupy jar, and the pineapple is courtesy of Dole!

I can't, however, overlook the hair.  It fascinates me.  The amount of engineering...not to mention hairspray...involved in this coiffure belongs in The Hairdo Hall Of Fame.  If one exists.  And if one doesn't, should I start one?

If It's Friday, That Means "Frampton"

What a living doll.

I haven't been around much lately.  I've been really busy with actual writing work, and while I always mean to update this blog, it always seems to fall by the proverbial wayside.

Do you ever read Peter Frampton's Facebook page?  If you don't, you should, as in, yesterday.  He is a very funny, very droll individual.  He writes about his music as well as other little tidbits from his life, such as going to the mall so he can browse at the Apple store. 

Here's my favorite of his, a 1975 recording of "Doobie Wah."

From 1979: KISS Colorforms Set

Dear Santa.

From 1979: It's All The Rage

In the summer of 1979, my next-door neighbor and best childhood friend, Suzanne, went to London with her family for several weeks.

This was no small feat for 1970s suburban Indiana.  Their trip even made the local newspaper.

When Suzanne returned, she had a treasure trove of records she bought in the Picadilly Circus shops.  Such an education for fascinated me.  I was all of eight years old, but I listened to those records constantly with Suzanne.  "Angeleyes/Voulez Vous," by ABBA.  "Gangsters," by The Specials.  "Born To Be Alive," by Patrick Hernandez.  All of the singles had those peculiar small holes in the middle; no need for the ubiquitous spindle adapters that usually littered the console on Suzanne's stereo.

My favorite record was the triumphant smash hit, "I Don't Like Mondays," by The Boomtown Rats.  Featuring soaring piano and clever, biting lyrics, lead singer Bob Geldof wrote the song in response to the Brenda Ann Spencer massacre in January 1979.  "The silicone chip inside her head gets switched to overload," remains, in my opinion, one of the most brilliant opening lines of a song to date.

Everyone knows and loves that song, right?  It deserves the adulation.  But have you ever heard the B-side?  It deserves adulation, too, as a rip-roaring punk rocker right out of Dingwalls, featuring a double-tracked vocal by Geldof and relentless guitar work by Garry Cott.  The infectious ending is particularly effective.

It's all the rage...you're putting me on.

From 1979: I'll Bet You Can Sing This Jingle

Today's commercials are just noise.  Give me a good jingle anytime and I will sing it; around the house, as I bathe, as I drive, and most definitely while I cook.

There is also not a more effective gum on the market to, ahem, "prove to your parents" that you haven't been drinking alcohol.  Trust me.

Give your breath long-lasting freshness with Big Red!

From 1977: Weekends Were Made For Cheryl Ladd

My beauty idol, that is.  And my favorite Angel.  And the star of that really great TV movie where Cheryl gets busted for drugs with her boyfriend, is put in prison, and becomes besties with a young Angela Bassett.

I can't approve of lovely Cheryl being subjected to the terror of a hideous clown to sell beer.  Memo to the 1977 Powers That Be At Michelob: Clowns are never a good idea, especially when you have a beauty like Cheryl Ladd in your commercial.

From 1975: The Stoned Rollers

Some pictures are like a gift from God.  

This picture is like if God gave me His million-dollar check from Publishers Clearing House, saying, "Here, I am The Lord Almighty.  I don't need it."

From 1975: A Huge Chunk O' Commercial Goodness

November 10, 1975

Recorded during a Monday Night Football broadcast.

(The Chiefs beat the Cowboys, 34-31.)

Be sure to catch the very brief but gorgeous shot of a United Airlines DC-10.  And there are ads for Schlitz (the official beer of A Touch of Tuesday Weld...did you know that?  No?  Well, it is.) and the Boeing 747 (oh, yes, in the 70s and even into the 80s, the 747 was flown domestically in the United States, especially on TWA.  "Got on board a westbound 747").

There's also a promo for a brand-new ABC program called Good Morning, America, with host David Hartman.

From 1970: Gram Parsons Was A Genius

The best-known version of this song, "Wild Horses," is by The Stones, of course. However, the song was originally given to Gram Parsons by Keith Richards as a gift.

Gram...what can I say about him?  He had the voice of an angel and the soul of a tortured poet.  His life was a Tennessee Williams play.  He loved his drink and his drugs and American music in its purest forms.  His was a shattered soul, his voice about hopeful unreasonable love, and those hopes dashed on the ground.

He was far too beautiful for this world.

Gram Parsons

1946-1973

 

From Sesame Street: The Ape Escape

When I was a little girl, I loved this vignette.  I would dance around the living room and my mother would admonish me, "Laura Beth, watch out for the candy dish!  Watch out for the stereo cabinet!"  Even then, I was a notorious klutz. 

My favorite bit is the noise the ape makes when he lands on a bale...a bale of hay.

Some say that the vocal was Northern Calloway, aka "David."  NantoVision1, a YouTuber who I like a great deal and whose opinion I trust, says emphatically that it was not Calloway.  (I have wondered if it was Ben Vereen.  I had this epiphany one night while watching Vereen in 1979's All That Jazz.)

p.s. Please take the time to watch the clip from All That Jazz.  It's fabulous.  Roy Scheider, you were robbed of the Oscar...but you were up against Dustin Hoffman in Kramer vs. Kramer.  Yeah.  Kind of tough to beat.

Grocery Store Favorites: Bad Time, By Grand Funk Railroad

Dear Safeway Supermarket:

If you insist on playing songs like this over your sound system, you are going to have to deal with me singing along really loudly, as well as possibly doing some sort of strange dance step in time with the music, regardless of where I am in the store. This is one of the few joys of being a 42-year-old woman. And as the Young People Of Today say, haters gonna hate.

Love, Laura.

1975

Creepy Viacom Bumpers Through The Ages

My ongoing battle with insomnia is your gain, folks ;-)

These creep me out.  Truthfully, what really creeps me out is actually remembering the "pinball" version of the logo at the end of Rhoda episodes...when they first aired in the mid Seventies.  I'm old.

From The Summer of 1979: The Versatile Deliciousness Of Thousand Island Dressing

People

August 6, 1979

Unfortunately, Wishbone Thousand Island dressing isn't included on that Scarsdale Diet that all the girls at the beauty shop are so crazy about...you know the one, the one we saw on Merv?

(I love the "recipe hints" in this ad.  You don't have to sell me on using Thousand Island on sandwiches.  I love it on reubens, on turkey sandwiches, with roast beef on rye...)

(And something else: you can make the most divine salad dressing with hummus, lemon juice, Bragg Liquid Aminos, and olive oil.  Slap it all in a bowl and mix it up.  I prefer much more of the Liquid Aminos than the lemon juice; but you come up with your own proportions.  Experimenting with the amounts is part of the fun!)

The Cows And The Chickens Are Goin' To The Dickens!

In our house when I was a girl, TV dinners were a real treat.  Because my parents were hippie-ish, organic enthusiasts long before it was fashionable to be that way, we didn't get a whole lot of fast food or junk treats.  If we had TV dinners, it meant that Mom and Dad were going out on a date, a babysitter was coming over, and The Muppet Show would be on as we ate in front of the television set (the treat to end all treats!).  

And if I close my eyes and really try, I can still smell my mother's White Shoulders perfume.

How Does It Feel To Be One Of The Beautiful People?

1970

1973

This "beautiful person" wound up committing suicide in 2008.  She lost all of her money to Bernie Madoff, and she couldn't face being "both old and poor."  She was 73.

An extensive article about Luciana.
 

 

Baby, you're a rich man...

From 1976: Mark, Age 11

Mark, I don't know you...but I think I love you.

From 1978: Kelly Emberg and My Favorite Summer Perfume

Next to Gia, Kelly Emberg is my favorite model.