Vintage Breakfast: Snap! Crackle! Pop!

I can't find an exact date for this darling commercial, 
but it's a real favorite of mine.

The Rolling Stones got into the Rice Krispies game with this jingle that Brian Jones wrote with the J. Walter Thompson ad agency in 1964.  It aired on the BBC's Juke Box Jury.

 

The Monkees did a number of commercials for Kellogg's Rice Krispies, featuring their own version of the "K-E-Double L, O-Double Good...Kellogg's best to you!" tagline, with Micky on lead vocal.  
This is one of my favorites because it features the Monkeemobile.

From 1949: With Just One Rinse

'Round the Linger homestead, 
Sunday Night tends to be Laundry Night.

Ken dreads it, because invariably I get to pining for Laundry Detergents Gone, But Not Forgotten.  Like Duz.  Or Salvo.  Or even Solo, which was actually a fabric softener.

1950

 1965

date unknown

Some of the classic old brands are still around, but damn, you have to work triple-time to find them.  I have the most luck at Big Lots, should I want to take a walk down Rare Laundry Detergents Lane (and, of course, I always do).

The laundry detergent I love to remember the most is Oxydol.  Not only do I remember my own Mom using it when we were kids, it is prominently featured in the 1981 John Waters' classic Polyester.  Remember when Dexter is looking for a foot to stomp in the grocery store?  Look in the background at the brands.  There it is, in all its green-boxed, early eighties' glory: Oxydol.

I scored a big bottle of the stuff at Big Lots last spring, and it was wonderful...but I haven't seen it on the shelves since. 

 Obviously some of the women from Jonestown were recruited for Oxydol print ads.

In this ad, more psychotic housewives, possibly while overdosing on Miltown, enjoy the whiter whites their Oxydol detergent delivered.

This ad for Oxydol was obviously someone's graduate thesis.  Well, laundry is a science, after all.  The Monkees and Julie Newmar taught us that.

From 1949, the earliest days of television.
I think this model of washing machine actually was called 
"The Mangler."

From 1979: Pa Gets A Camera From Oleson's Merchantile And Shills For Kodak

People
April 23, 1979

Quick note to my readers: thanks for giving me the heads up about People basically destroying their archive site.

All of those wonderful ads, all of that wonderful history...gone!

I am just gutted by it.

I've sent them several emails, begging them to reconsider and put all of the pages from every magazine back on the site. People, PLEASE.

From 1971: When American Housewives Are Tormented By The Exotic Birds In Their Lives Because Of Common Laundry Problems

And who is this actress? She looks so very familiar to me.



And a question: who taught the parrot to say "ring around the collar" as a taunt to this beleaguered housewife? I suspect the 1971 Husband here in this clip. He looks like the type to badger his wife about those pesky stains and complain about her lousy cooking. Or perhaps the bird was a fan of soap operas, and learned the statement from other Wisk commercials.

Hope You Had A Cool Yule

Me, I'm plum tuckered out from making the Yuletide gay!

We had a really splendid holiday, lots of lovely presents (I got a Kitchen Aid stand mixer!  A cashmere pashmina!  A bottle of Samsara perfume!), gallons of libations, and a Christmas dinner of all-you-can-eat crab legs at our favorite local Chinese buffet.

I hope you all had a beautiful Christmas, if that's what you celebrate.  May it have been as much fun as this:

1977

I love this picture.  It's from this blog, and I find it so wonderful.

Wait a second...Santa Claus, NO!

From 1956: Smoking Cigarettes Is The American Way!

No, this commercial doesn't actually say that, but it might as well.

God, I miss cigarettes. I quit my two-pack-per-day habit almost twenty years ago. Wanna see a 40-year-old woman drop 50 pounds without even trying? Give me a couple of cartons of Marlboros and I'll demonstrate it for you.

From 1970: When Psychedelic Twins Sell Cold Medicine

I could sure use some frigging Dristan today.
My sinuses are terrible.

Can you even conceptualize the amount of mind-bending chemicals that were included in cold remedies back in 1970? And you were probably encouraged to "wash the pills down with the alcoholic beverage of your choice" in the package directions!

From 1958: What My Alternate Universe Looks Like

This film introduces Boeing 707 jet service on Pan American World Airways.



I long to live in this more civilized world; certainly I was born several decades too late.

On that note, allow me to tell you that I admire the spacious "powder rooms" on this jet the most. Remind to tell you guys sometime about the time Ken and I flew home from Singapore via Tokyo and Minneapolis, 21+ hours of flight time, as I suffered from a raging case of the stomach flu. I started feeling ill in Changi Airport and it all went downhill from there. Even though we were in First Class on all three flights home, it was still miserable.

If It's Thursday, It Must Mean That It's Time To Do A Post About A Woman's Lack Of Intimate Daintiness

Tears, recriminations, overnight visits to "The Club" by her husband...
...and all because no one will say to her just five simple words:

"GIRL, YOUR TWAT SO STANKY!"

Hopefully, a Love Quiz written by a perverted old geezer at Lysol, coupled with a coupon for a Free Booklet that may or may not be called, "So Your Hubby's Nickname Around The Office Is Gorton," will set this wife straight about the importance of sticking toxic chemicals up her coochie in order to render it Monsanto Fresh.

Weekend: Here's A Bunch Of Commercials From October 1977

Shown during an airing of Hollywood Squares (do you see a glimpse of Peter Marshall at the very beginning?), this is an example of Lazy Blogging at its most insidious!

Still, enjoy...this grouping has a bunch of great goodies in it.

Why Marge Can't Hold A Man: A Cautionary Tale

You can rely on the "actual scientific tests."
They won't steer you wrong...and they might just get Harvey to finally propose!

From 1957: For Those Special Times When You Want To Change The Channel While Wearing A Blindfold, A Balenciaga Gown, And An Entire Diamond Mine

Life

October 7, 1957

From 1959: Better Living Through Gimmicks!

Another gorgeous housewife finding the ultimate in personal fulfillment from her pink washer and dryer. As "new as today's fabrics," housewives in 1959 could rest assured that five cycles of Filter-Flo power were making whites their whitest and brights their brightest!

Gorgeous double-clicker.

This Week At A Touch Of Tuesday Weld: Our Tribute To Laundry!

1940s

Don't you dare wash your husband's shirts without the miracle of "hustle bubbles"!

(Those women were right to laugh at our housewife, the lass so unenlightened in the ways of Oxydol and its magical whitening powers...without bleach!)

Double-click for a really good look.

From 1959: When Huge Jugs And Perception-Bending Drugs Collide In The Mind Of The Man In The Grey Flannel Suit

What a piece of work this gem is!

Not only will Good Old Harvey no longer "lie there and mope," he will live to see another day to be his usual lecherous and unpleasant self...thanks to the magic of the wizards at Smith, Kline, and French!

Indeed, a "bright side" for your patients...and the hardworking nurses who just love to be ogled by them!

Dexamyl featured a mixture of dextroamphetamine and amobarbital in an extended release capsule (the "Spansule"). This highly addictive drug was very popular on the street, where it was sold under the name of "Christmas Trees," so named for their bright green capsules and pearly white granules visible within.

Dexamyl was taken off the market on June 30, 1973.

If It's Friday, That Means A Block Of Commercials From 1974

Happy weekend, everybody.
(I already am laying plans for a Blue Moon margarita with my husband tonight!)

Also, I'd like to thank all of you who come and share my blog. It's nice to know that there are others out there who like to take a break from the present and remember the past.

From 1979: Kim Alexis On The Cover Of US Vogue

Photographed by Stan Malinowski

From the same issue:

All of these are *astonishing* double-clickers. Enjoy!

From The 1950s: So You're Foolish Enough To Want To Cast A Broad In Your Television Ad

It's Either This, Or Copious Amounts Of Miltown Washed Down With Martinis

"These are the tranquilized Fifties,
and I am forty. Ought I to regret my seedtime?"