For Everyone Who Is Sick

It seems like everyone is sick during these Ides of March.

I'm including myself in those ranks: Ken brought home a terrible cough over a week ago, and while he seems to be over the worst of it, it remains with me.

Yes, it seems that we all need some Teek with TC-44 
around here:

 

"No narcotics."  They say that like it's a good thing.  And this is from the 60s, no less.  I thought there was narcotic goodness in chewing gum back then.

If It's October, Then It Must Mean Laura's Sinuses Are Staging A Violent Revolt That Involves Big Green Boogers

1958

(By the way, you guys have seen The Vintage Ad Browser, right?  It's where I, *ahem,* acquire so much of my great stuff.  It's a wonderful resource.  Be forewarned, though: you will lose hours and hours browsing through all the goodies 
they have over there.)

Pinocchio's Mother, The Model

The poor woman couldn't find much work, however, despite her dreams of modeling success.  It seems that only the Luden's people had call for a "clothespin nose," and even then, she was unceremoniously dumped when the company president became, *ahem*, uncle to a handsome young man with modeling aspirations and a clothespin nose of his own. 

From 1970: Louise Lasser and Nyquil

From 1970: When Psychedelic Twins Sell Cold Medicine

I could sure use some frigging Dristan today.
My sinuses are terrible.

Can you even conceptualize the amount of mind-bending chemicals that were included in cold remedies back in 1970? And you were probably encouraged to "wash the pills down with the alcoholic beverage of your choice" in the package directions!

From 1959: When Huge Jugs And Perception-Bending Drugs Collide In The Mind Of The Man In The Grey Flannel Suit

What a piece of work this gem is!

Not only will Good Old Harvey no longer "lie there and mope," he will live to see another day to be his usual lecherous and unpleasant self...thanks to the magic of the wizards at Smith, Kline, and French!

Indeed, a "bright side" for your patients...and the hardworking nurses who just love to be ogled by them!

Dexamyl featured a mixture of dextroamphetamine and amobarbital in an extended release capsule (the "Spansule"). This highly addictive drug was very popular on the street, where it was sold under the name of "Christmas Trees," so named for their bright green capsules and pearly white granules visible within.

Dexamyl was taken off the market on June 30, 1973.

Vintage Sick Rooms: Ah, To Have Been Ill In The Olden Days

It's actually a bit of gallows humor, here...I am very sick. I have a pretty serious lung infection. The thing is, I didn't even realize it. I went to the doctor this morning about my sinuses and an expedient x-ray exposed the real problem. A cough had been bugging me for a while now, but I didn't think it was anything so...drastic.

I'm on bedrest until Saturday and swallowing antibiotics like mad. If the infection isn't cleared up by next week, I have to go in the hospital until it clears. Yes, it's that bad. I cannot stress this enough, folks: I had no idea that I was this sick.

Anyway, back to the vintage.

Oh, to have been sick back in the more elegant days of 23 Skiddoo and pole sitting! Doctors really knew how to hook their patients up back then. Now, I have a prescription bottle of codeine cough medicine sitting on my vanity table that is the only good thing out of this whole business of the Streptococcus Pneumoniae Construction Company building little paramecia condos in my lungs. But did you catch the bit about Cosadein syrup having a Healthy Helping of the sweet, sweet leaf? Can you imagine how delightful a spoonful of that viscous delicacy must have been? Forget the scientific name of Cosedein. They should have just called it what it actually was: Heaven's Nectar.

Also, in modern medicine, I was given just an itty-bitty bottle of the codeine syrup. Addictions must be prevented, after all, although you still see a new episode of Intervention every week. I digress. Did I read that right...Cosadein was served up in GALLON jugs for cough-suppressing enjoyment? Pardon me while I ponder how wonderful life would be if I could carry around my own gallon jug of codeine goodness with me at all times. I would even deck it out like Granny did for her hooch on The Beverly Hillbillies, with the "XXX" on the front, instead of the label. People in the olden days got it right. Cough bothering you? Take a healthy swig from your gallon flask of codeine mixed with ganja. You might still cough, but you no longer mind, and suddenly you feel more charitable toward your mother-in-law.

With A Lovely Name Like "Mornidine," You Just Know That It's Safe

No date available; my money is on the late 40s or early 50s.

Incredibly, this is not an ad rejoicing that The Crazy Bitch Wife can finally get back to her wifely duties like fixin' a Hungry Hubby his morning sausage and eggs.

No, it seems as though Mornidine was a drug prescribed for morning sickness. That's right. Morning sickness. Mornidine...get it now? You know, because a trivial matter like being deathly ill during the gestation of your child is no reason for Hubby to have to go without his pigs in a blanket.

Mornidine was taken off the market on July 17, 1969. It was deemed to be dangerous, or something. I suspect Flipper Babies, or possibly babies being born as Acid Freaks, but am unable to find much about its removal from the market on The Internets.

Furthermore, the evidence as to how American Breakfasts suffered as a result is anecdotal, at best.

"A Sleep-Through Night." And The Following Morning. And The Afternoon.

A fantastic double-clicker, this one.

From 1971.