From 1983: Margaret's Sweet 16 Birthday Party

"Taken with a Kodak Instamatic with flashcube."

I'm not sure which one is Margaret, but I love this picture: wood paneling; a dude with a mustache and tinted glasses; a guy who looks like either a used car dealer or the lead singer for Sparks in the back; the wonderfully random Rose Acre Farms crate ("the good egg people"); the LPs and some sort of makeshift DJ booth; the elegant choice of decorations for this fête galante, including a "sweet sixteen" banner.

I'm sure the dining choices for this gala included several buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken, several bags of Taco flavor Doritos, one of those sugary grocery store bakery cakes the size of Texas with pink rosettes in each corner and "Happy Birthday, Margaret!" written in loopy pink frosting script.   And five cases of Schlitz.

Who was this motley crew of boys, I wonder?  Well, I will venture a guess: the boy in the plaid shirt is Margaret's slightly older brother, and those knuckleheads are his friends.  They've known Margaret since she was a little girl, and they love her like a sister.  Honestly, they do.  It's just that...little Margaret is growing up to be hot.

And you just know that these awful boys took over poor Margaret's party, most likely forcing the DJ to play nothing but Rush, Van Halen, and KISS records all night while they drank Schlitz and talked about Atari and  Phoebe Cates' tits.  

"Hey, man!  Play Christine Sixteen again!  KISS Army rules! Happy birthday, Margaret!"

From 1975: The Stoned Rollers

Some pictures are like a gift from God.  

This picture is like if God gave me His million-dollar check from Publishers Clearing House, saying, "Here, I am The Lord Almighty.  I don't need it."

From 1976: Mark, Age 11

Mark, I don't know you...but I think I love you.

Papa's Got A Brand-New Favorite Blog

Miss Vintage Pop Culture

I plan on stealing liberally from this beautiful, witty blog.

Anyone who worships Miss Debralee Scott is A-OK in my book.

Let's Have Some More Of '74

Plaza Sesamo: Lucas Hice Un Sandwich

I've found that watching Plaza Sesamo (that is, Sesame Street in Spanish) is a great way for me to work on learning the language, which I have found really difficult.

And Cookie Monster is funny in any language.  Enjoy.

I love it when he calls the little girl "Muchachita."

From 1982: What Might Be The Greatest Single Of The Eighties

This clip is mislabeled as being from 1983; that's not possible, as Fridays stopped airing on October 22, 1982.

Still, it's a magnificent capture of a great live version of this song. Here's Tommy Tutone, with "867-5309 (Jenny)."



I owned this on a vinyl 45; I bought it with some of my babysitting earnings at the Zayre right by my church in the summer of 1982. If I remember correctly, I also bought some Faberge Organics shampoo on that shopping trip, too.

It did not make me look anything like Heather Locklear.

Oh, and my Dad banned Jenny and her phone number after I played the record 12 times in a row. "I don't want to hear those numbers in this house again, Laura Beth," he said. "At least not in that sequence."

From 1988: Two Halloween Costumes Are Born

This year, Ken and I are celebrating Halloween as our Pee Wee's Playhouse counterparts, Cool Cat and Chickie Baby.


That is, unless I can get my hands on two complete Leatherface costumes.

Just Because It's Been One Helluva Week

The state university that gave the chimp the scholarship was Purdue.  I know this because I cheated off his calculus tests after bribing him with Chiquita bananas.

What This Blog Needs: More Of That Cool-Ass Breakdancin' Little Kid In The Grey Sweatshirt From The Movie Breakin'

Yes, I saw it in the theater. Stop looking at me.

A quick thought: maybe Ken and I should be Ozone and Turbo for Halloween this year. We were going to be our beatnik alter-egos, Cool Cat and Chickie Baby, but...

What This Blog Needs: More Jessica Savitch

And WOW.

This is an entirely intact NBC News Digest anchored by Jessica...something that is a rarity, even in these days of YouTube and the like. This beautiful clip not only features the entire "three-chime" opening with its super space-age graphics and the world turning in the wrong direction, but the entire commercial for American Airlines in the middle, complete with that gorgeous DC-10 making its ascension to Destinations Unknown.

What the clip does not have is the trademark "Savitch Smile" at the end. Savitch seems rather wan, worn, and tired. This clip is from the 22nd or 23rd of April, 1983; not only was Savitch deep into her cocaine abuse, she was in a great deal of trouble at NBC. Not because of her cocaine use, mind you; yet the brass used that as their official reason, which was, at that time, very hypocritical. No, Jessica Savitch was viewed as "difficult," too "mercurial" for the NBC brass, and they had themselves a new Golden Girl to replace her: a hotshot young reporter from KCBS in Los Angeles named Connie Chung.

In fact, a week or so after this broadcast, Jessica Savitch was ousted from her spot as the Saturday anchor for NBC Nightly News and replaced with Chung.

When I was a young girl, I idolized her. I was too young to know that hers was an unhappy, unfulfilled life, full of tragedy and disaster leading right up to that upside-down station wagon filled with muddy water in that little canal outside Chez Odette.

Rest in peace, Jessica.

If I Ever Stop Using This Photo For My Profile Pictures, Stick Me In A Hefty Trash Bag And Put Me Out On The Curb, Because I Am Surely Dead

I shamelessly stole this from the Sexy People blog, because I simply had to have it. I really have no other excuse. How could I not love a photo of a guy named Rick from 1975? This picture is everything this blog is all about!

I feel a week-long tribute to 1975 coming on.

Still The Greatest Video On All Of YouTube

Timothy Ralston, the camera operator,
gives this information about the video:

"Phoenix, Arizona. random super 8 movies shot by 15 yr old Timothy Ralston. Some starring 9 yr old Andrew Ralston. 5301 E. Fellars Drive, Scottsdale. Circa 1982. Contains: Driving to Phoenix airport from near Paradise Valley Mall. N. 52 St. Lots of Benny Hill type sped up Shenanigans."

(5301 Fellars Drive is actually quite close to my residence. Maybe a 10-minute drive. I wonder what the neighborhood looks like today? Should I find out...?)

If It's Friday, That Must Mean That I Am Having Meds-Related Hallucinations Where, In My Mind, It's 1981

The only thing that can be said about this tune: Fuck yeah!

This tune is off a brilliant album called Worlds Apart. Yes, I own it, and it rocks. It rocks so very, very hard.

Saga is from Canada, the land of other such brilliant bands as Rush and Loverboy.

This tune peaked at #26 on the Billboard pop chart in March 1983. (Is it just me, but was the fall of 1982 to the summer of 1983 a particularly splendid time for music?)



Now, pardon me. I have to shove a wad of Chewels in my mouth in defiance as my Dad banishes me from the dinner table yet again for declaring that Ronald Reagan Is The Biggest Disaster To Have Ever Befallen This Country.

(p.s. I miss you, Dad.)

Because It's Never Too Soon To Plan For My 41st

From 1979.

McDonalds birthday parties were the funnest birthday parties ever.

For The Boys

I have a HUGE gay following on this blog. This is just for you, just because I love you all and so appreciate your enthusiastic support. This blog would be nothing without you.

Besides, I know you lads know where to find the boys AND the booze.

From 1991: Tonya Harding Lands The Triple Axel In Competition

The first U.S. woman to do so, and it must be said, it was a MASSIVE triple axel. Tonya always had wonderfully high, fast jumps.

God bless you, Tonya. You always have mad props and the utmost respect from me.



Let's have another look at that triple axel, this time in 1992.



Massive. Look at the screen capture...the HEIGHT that chick got up from the ice, and her body perfectly straight up and down.

From Very Early 1985: Words Are So Cheap, But They Can Turn Out Expensive

I equate this song with being a lost Catholic schoolgirl in an utterly overwhelming public high school. That first, most difficult year of whistling in the graveyard.

From 1982: Won't You Spare Me All The Charms And Take Me In Your Arms (I Promise To Wear The Headband And Sparkly Minidress)

I am Olivia Newton John's bitch.
Have been since I first saw Grease in the summer of 1978.

This song peaked at #5 on the Billboard Hot 100 on April 3, 1982.

From 1972: Why I Shall Always Refer To African-American Males As "Black Soul Brothers"

It's just cooler, that's all.

Rosey Greer and Ray Milland ARE The Thing With Two Heads!

Two trailers for this cinematic masterpiece...ribbed for your pleasure.





More power to you, brother.